Gross Miscalculations
by SkyChasingDreamer
Summary: I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again. I'll go with you, to countries I never saw and shared with you and now we'll experience them together.
1. Prologue

**Title: **Gross Miscalculations**  
Pairing: **Gintoki/Hijikata**  
Rating: **T to M to NC17**  
Disclaimer: **No**  
A/N: **THIS FIC IS WRITTEN BY TWO PEOPLE. MYSELF AND HUSBAND, LAVITAACOLORI.  
**Please note**: THIS IS AN AU FIC. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE AUs, AS IN - ALTERNATE UNIVERSE - THEN PLEASE _DO NOT READ_.

* * *

**Prologue**

Prepare for trouble!

Make it double!

To protect the world from devastation!

To unite all peoples within our nation!

To denounce the evils of truth and love!

To extend our reach to the stars above!

Gintoki!

Hijikata!

Team _oh shit_, blast off at the speed of light!

Surrender now – because this is an alternate universe where Gintoki and Hijikata go backpacking as friends across Europe the summer after they graduate college and stuff _happens._


	2. Plane Rides and High Tides

**Plane Rides and High Tides**

Gintoki gets off the shuttle bus and takes a quick look around to find the right door for his airline. He hasn't been to the airport in... years, such is the life of the modestly poor. He finds what he's looking for - Sorachi Air - and heads that way. He thinks he has plenty of time to check in and get through security, but it's not as much time as he'd meant to have. Saying his goodbyes had taken longer than he'd thought, his adopt-a-sister having been unwilling to let him go. It'd been a battle to unwrap her unnaturally strong limbs from his person, he has some bruises to show for it, too.

There's a short line outside the row of kiosks and he falls in step behind the others waiting. His back is packed and secure on one of his shoulders, filled with only the bare essentials since anything more than that would weigh too much. There's a nervous knot inside his stomach, but it's a good feeling because he's excited for this. He's been looking forward to it ever since Hijikata had opened up the opportunity to him and he really can think of no better way to spend his summer.

The line moves and he glances around for Hijikata, pretty certain the other is already in the terminal and waiting at the gate. Gintoki has his phone and pulls it out to send a quick text just to see and a smile comes to his face when he thinks about how he soon won't be able to use his phone anymore. A couple more people finish and he moves up again so he's next in line and he rocks on his heels, pumped to get this adventure started.

-o-O-o-

He's gone through two packs of gum sitting there, one leg jittering up and down in a nervous habit when he hasn't been able to smoke for an undetermined amount of time. He's been told to kick the bad habit for ages but he likes the taste, relishes in the clenching of his gut when he gets a good lungful of the stuff, not to mention Marlboro would be losing a key customer if he did finally switch it up. And he might as well indulge while he's still young - who knows what will happen when he finally joins the force. Hijikata's kept it a rather well kept secret that he's been planning to join the police force, only confiding in his upperclassman, Kondo, when he was a few days into finals and three straight days on Red Bull and midnight library studies. Seems Criminal Justice studies did that to people.

But he's done! They've graduated! He recalls the day specifically because his friends had pulled him around the campus to get the perfect memorable snapshots before everyone went their separate ways. He'd grumbled, but that didn't stop him from finding Gintoki too in order to take a picture of their own.

Licking his lips, he realizes his piece of gum has gone stale, so switches it up for another one, sitting caddy corner to the trash can so it'll be easy to tend to his habits.

They're a weird sort of friends- started out hating one another for reasons Hijikata can't quite recall, but they stuck like glue one way or the other and so it felt rather natural to, upon hearing Gintoki had not graduation plans of his own besides drinks at Otose's, offer he come to Europe with Hijikata. He had wanted to go on his own for a long time, remembering his brother talking fondly about his different world travels, and so he'd planned it all out meticulously to make sure he had all his finances in order. And he does, making it even better that he's got someone willing to go with him regardless of the fact that Gintoki really doesn't have any money to pay for it. "I'll pay you back, I swear!" is what he had said, bright eyed and slightly tipsy as his little sister ran through the living room with all of the party balloons she'd collected, screaming a, "YAHOOO!"

"Okay," he'd responded, and that was that.

Looking up at the new batch of passengers coming through TSA, Hijikata checks his phone again. Their flight is nearly ready to board and it's just when he gets the ping of a text message that he notices a shock of white in his peripherals. Turning his head, he instinctively pulls the wad of gum out of his mouth and chucks it at Gintoki's face while the kid looks around dazed and confused like he's never been outside before.

"You're lucky that didn't get stuck in my hair, asshole!" Gintoki remarks as he walks over – see, he'd known Hijikata would already be passed security. They're off to the side under a gate and his eyes skitter around before landing back on Hijikata. He has a bag just like Gintoki's and that really makes it sink in that they're really doing it, they'll be leaving soon for the whole summer. That brings a smile to his face and he moves closer to Hijikata to get out of a bustling woman's way saying, "Hope you don't have a problem flying 'cause I ain't holdin' your hand."

"Nope, gonna be a piece of cake." He smirks as Gintoki lets out a whine, something or other about sweets and Hijikata looks back, checking the departure board to make sure they're on time. His leg begins jittering as he gets an idea, figuring it'll be better to move around instead of just staying put. Pointing down the hallway, he says, "There's a Cinnabon down over there. Should get something because next three months you'll be living off berries and fish and shit."

He laughs when Gintoki does that disgruntled whine again, the one when Hijikata teases him mercilessly about his love for all processed sweets.

"I refuse to eat shit, I'll leave that to you," he replies, giving Hijikata's sleeve a tug as he sets off. "Is Cinnabon all they have? This place looks so much bigger from the outside, damn."

There really aren't that many gates and other than the Cinnabon stand there's a place with snacks, magazines, and small necessities like toothbrushes or charging cables for mobiles, but that's literally all that's in there. Cinnabon will have to do then, though he'd prefer his final meal to be a heart stopping parfait from his favorite diner. They get to the stand and his jaw drops so he's gaping like a fish out of water.

"S-s-s-seven bucks for a Cinnabon?" He looks incredulously at Hijikata, face one of pure horror. "Wha – what is this? I can hear wallet-kun crying already!"

Hijikata raises an eyebrow, arms crossing in a natural defensive position as he barks, "I'm not buying it for you - already got you the ticket there. You think my wallets very happy right now, hah?"

He watches with mild curiosity as Gintoki begins the menial calculations of budgeting in his head, counting his fingers until he gives in and shuffles up to the cashier. Hijikata turns to look back out among the sea of people, feeling nervous despite his rigorous preparations and flips open his phone one more time to shoot Kondo a text that he's turning his phone off now. He gets a 'winking face' response and something about Gintoki knowing something about Otae, but Hijikata ignores it. Gintoki's fiercely loyal to the neighbor lady and her kid brother, which is one of the few traits that drew him to the other guy, and he won't give Kondo anything anyway. He's knocked from his reverie as Gintoki bumps into his shoulder and they start back off to where Hijikata knows their terminal is.

"You can stuff your face there. Should be boarding anytime now, actually."

Gintoki holds his Cinna-treasure close to his chest – heart – and already starts picking at it with his fork. Seven dollars and some cents for this thing! Someone should have warned him that airport prices are jacked up and on steroids.

They get back to their gate and take a seat in a row that's mostly empty and that's where he begins to devour his treat. He savors it as he demolishes it, but he's so hungry and it tastes so good and who knows when he'll get something sweet like this again! The icing is the best part, he definitely takes his time on that, but inhaling his food makes him a terrible conversationalist. Not that he and Hijikata need to keep up a constant stream of talking to be content. Rather, that's one of the things he really enjoys about his friendship with Hijikata, he never feels the need to fill the silences when they fall. They can bicker constantly or have long stretches of quiet and he likes that, it has always felt so natural.

"Oi," he grunts when he takes a moment to breathe and bump his knee into Hijikata's jittering one, "cut that out." Hijikata's leg just keeps moving and he reaches out his fork hand to give the other's thigh a couple taps with his wrist. "Quit, makes you look like a junky."

He smacks his palm down from where he'd been biting his nail to slap Gintoki's knee away. "You know I can't!" He crosses his arms again, then folds one leg over the other before switching them around the other way. Shooting Gintoki another pursed look, he continues, "And I'm not a junkie."

Junkies don't get to be cops, junkies get arrested by cops. "You're more of a sugar junkie than I am with mine anyway."

He reaches down to flick one of Gintoki's crumbs off his own knee, perking when the intercom comes on with a polite da-ding and the lady announces that it's time to board.

"Come on." He drags Gintoki up and closer to the front podium, waiting as first class boards then parents with young kids. He hitches his backpack around and pulls out his own ticket. "You got yours somewhere?" Gintoki hums and turns so his backs to Hijikata and he snorts, pulling open the first pocket, then the second before making a triumphant sound. "Eureka... Now, group B, 22A and B. Hope you don't get airsick - you got a window seat."

Gintoki stuffs the rest of his Cinnabon in his mouth and meanders away to throw the box away. He lingers at the trashcan to wipe his hands off and suck on the sticky parts so they won't be sticky anymore. He'll never make it through the flight with Hijikata complaining about a mess or whatever. Patting himself down one last time to make sure he has everything, he pulls out his phone and wanders back to Hijikata.

"We can switch if you'd rather have the window, I'll probably just sleep most of the way there." He pauses and frowns down at his now open phone. "Where's this flight takin' us anyway? I didn't look."

Then he goes back to sending out his last messages of bon voyage and all that, mentally ticking people off his list to make sure he gets them all.

He thinks he might shove Gintoki into the middle seat - he always hated crowded plane rides and the seat on this airline always seem so much smaller than they used to. Then again, grown men compared to being a boy flying the friendly skies probably has something to do with that. He whips out their itinerary at the question, having come fully prepared so he doesn't accidentally drop Gintoki off in Bangladesh and leave his ass there.

"We stop in India - just an hour layover so you may be able to get another sweet thing in these cheeks." He prods a finger against the soft skin of Gintoki's cheek, far from how he used to wonder why the other man wasn't riddled with terrible acne. "Then straight to Italy- up near the top and I've got it figured out - 'cause others have done this path before that we..." He goes through his mental map. "Up through Switzerland, hop over between Germany, the uh Bavaria part, and end up in Austria. Then, depending on how much time we have, we can just find our way back down. The return flight hasn't been scheduled yet so we gotta figure out where we'll want to fly out of too..."

Gintoki waves a hand in front of Hijikata's face, a brow raising high. "Yeesh, so much planning! We start in Italy, cool. We can figure the rest out as we go."

The intercom bings and the voice says their zone is now boarding. He doesn't have to shut his phone off yet, so he opens the screen back up and sticks close to Hijikata so he doesn't run into anything while he goes through it. He gets the reply text he'd wanted and a little smile steals across his face as he holds his phone up for Hijikata to see.

"Ba-san says that if you bring me back alive she'll give you a free glass of her finest dishwater."

He snorts and goes to power down his phone, the knot in his gut loosening a bit.

"I wouldn't touch her stuff with a ten foot pole." Gintoki punches him in the shoulder and Hijikata scowls over at his friend before readjusting his pack. "Haven't you noticed I always bring my own beer?"

"Is that why?" Gintoki shrieks and Hijikata barks a laugh, shooting him a cheeky look and puts a finger to his own lips.

"Se-cret."

He hears Gintoki curse at him but still takes the ticket when Hijikata hands it to him, both flashing them at the stewardess and getting onto the plane and back to their seats. Waiting a bit, more people begin filing in, awkward conversations springing up here and there and Hijikata nudges Gintoki, saying, "Switch with me," and so they do that little awkward shuffle where Gintoki slides over to the middle seat and Hijikata clambers over his legs to get to the window. Once seated and buckled in, Hijikata tunes out the stewardess' intro to the safety measures and yadda, yadda, yadda, in favor of looking out their tiny window and imagining glossy peaks and blue waters below instead of tarmac.

He's about ready to say something to Hijikata, but the other is staring out the window and the image just kind of stills his voice. It hadn't been important anyway. He instead reaches up and adjusts the air nozzle to something a little less than full blast and he turns off his overhead light, he's really not sure why it's even on to begin with. Their bags are safely secure above them in the overhead bin, so all he can do is sit there and fiddle with things. He's about ready to pull out the Sky Mall magazine from the seat backing in front of him, but a guy sits down next to him.

It's an older man, but not that much older, maybe ten years or so. They introduce themselves and the dude's name is Jiraiya and he seems to be a decent man to have next to him for the flight. They only just start talking about random local goings on when the captain – a loud mouthed man with an obnoxious laugh – interrupts them. There's no talking over a voice like that, so Gintoki settles back and puts his arm up on the rest, slightly pushing into Hijikata's so they can share.

"I hope we get some in flight meals," he mumbles to no one in particular, it's mainly directed at his still unsatisfied tummy.

"Idiot, you were supposed to eat before! This isn't like the hour bullet train to Tokyo!" he chastises, but still pushes back into Gintoki's arm, both fighting subconsciously for more of the arm rest until Gintoki just gives up and, to be an obnoxious little shit, simply lays his arm over Hijikata's. He's effectively trapped but they've always been a bit more physical anyway with the constantly pushing and prodding and impromptu tackles over who got the higher quiz score so this is nothing. "They'll probably give you something halfway between each flight so just sleep or something 'til then." He himself will be knocking out on the second half of their journey, forcing himself to stay up now so that he doesn't feel the pull of jet lag. Gintoki shuffles back into his seat and Hijikata closes his eyes, trying to drown out the annoying voice of their pilot as he relaxes back, the engines roaring and he opens his left eye to peer over at his friend. "You fall asleep and drool on me and I'll leave you at our layover."

"If you do, no glass of dishwater for you," he throws back.

"Don't want it anyway," Hijikata replies dryly.

Gintoki sticks his tongue out, about ready to give Hijikata the verbal lashing of a lifetime, but he gets sidetracked with what's outside the window. They're moving now, turning down one of the long lanes that are stained black from so many wheels coming and going. They'll be taking off soon, the plane will gain speeds and they'll just zoom right into the air... he'd forgotten this, what it's like. It's been that long since he's been on a plane and they're really leaving everything behind and that's so exciting.

Subconsciously he's leaned over into Hijikata's seat to get a better view of what's happening out the window, but has to sit back when the passing flight attendant reprimands him. He scrunches his nose at Hijikata's smug little chuckle and manages to sit still for a few seconds. But then he's leaning right back over because the plane has started to go faster, what's outside the is going passed in a blur, the sounds of the engines have gotten louder. Hijikata shoves at him with an elbow, but he shoves back with his shoulder and reaches a hand out to touch the cool plastic of the window.

The plane suddenly gives a drop, but that's the nose going up, they're in the air, they are airborne! Some kind of astonished sound comes out of his mouth as the ground gets smaller and he wriggles closer to the window. He tosses an apology over his shoulder when one of his feet knocks into Jiraiya's calf or ankle, but the man says it's fine, sounding amused. He's practically crushing Hijikata's into the seat and he's aware that he's getting cursed at, but that's okay because he's giving some of his own right back.

"Are you seeing this?" he asks, flashing a grin over at Hijikata. "We're in the clouds already!"

"You act like you've never been outside before," he grumbles, pausing before reaching a hand up to pinch at Gintoki's nose until the other lets out a distressed sound, shaking his head back and forth to dislodge Hijikata's crab claws. "Now, sit."

He pushes him back by the nose hold and down into his seat, Gintoki's hands flailing in place as if he doesn't know whether to comply or simply reach other and strangle Hijikata. But since he's not taking up two seats by himself anymore, Hijikata let's go and Gintoki instantly rubs both hands over his face, the petulant, "Meanie!" sounding fifteen years too young for the other man. Hijikata takes that moment to tilt his head over and look outside and though he isn't as ecstatic by simple things as this simpleton is, the scenery as they fly upwards higher in the atmosphere really is beautiful. Gintoki leans over again though, and Hijikata sighs, almost going cross eyed with how close Gintoki's face is.

"You go to sleep now, I'll wake you up when something cool's happening, deal?"

Gintoki glares and his bottom lip pops out. "By the time you wake me, the cool thing will probably be gone or over." Hijikata's face flattens and they stare at each other until Gintoki rolls his eyes and sits back in his seat. "Fine. But now I might drool on you for being a dick."

Rubbing his nose for emphasis, he pushes the button the right armrest and leans his chair back until he's reclined. He leaves Jiraiya's armrest open and puts that arm across his belly, but for the one on Hijikata's side, he goes back to war for. It's a short skirmish and they end up as they had before with his arm over top Hijikata's, which is strangely comfortable. Then again, he can sleep anywhere in about any which way, so it's really no big deal to him. Yawning, some water filling his eyes, he shuts them and relaxes back, easily drifting off into sleep to the drone of engines.

-o-O-o-

"Oi, wake up!" Hijikata welcomes Gintoki back to the waking world with a swift elbow to the gut, the other man jolting forward under the pressure and coughing with a mutter of, "L-low, bloww..." as Hijikata pats his back, the only consolation he's willing to give upon pain of his own design. "We just landed and we gotta find the next terminal."

It takes Gintoki a minute of rubbing the gunk from his eyes and standing up to grab their carry-ons before he whips around to shove a finger in Hijikata's face with a, "You didn't wake me up for the meal!"

Hijikata slaps Gintoki's finger away and grabs for his own pack, bodily shoving Gintoki back into the seats in the middle of the plane and relishing in the sleep-laden grumbles. "Actually, I tried waking you and you said something about the weather girl."

He raises an eyebrow over his shoulder at Gintoki and breaks into laughter when the other, in his warm-weather sleepy state simply flushes a deep red and Hijikata enjoys it because Gintoki never lets himself blush. Fucking hilarious.

Gintoki very promptly gives Hijikata the finger and tames the warmth that is his cheeks. He would just push past Hijikata and bull the other aside, but there are people behind them and he does have some level of civility.

"I do like that weather girl," he says to himself, conceding the point.

He can't remember what he'd been dreaming about or if he'd been dreaming at all, but it's not an uncommon thing for Ketsuno Ana to be on his mind. She's a total babe! Sighing at the fact that he hasn't gotten his wedding arranged with her yet, he follows Hijikata through the plane, making sure to kick the bastard's heels as they go. Goddamn asshole not trying harder to wake him up for the meal, now he's not just hungry, he's starving! And grumpy, apparently. Made even more so thanks to the discovery at the last airport that prices are way different than they are on the outside.

As they pass the captain, he has to choke back a laugh because the guy looks like a loon! Who wears sunglasses indoors on a plane? Still, he dips his head a bit, then scurries to Hijikata's side once they're off the plane and walking through the tunnel.

"You think he actually flew with those sunglasses on?"

"It makes me feel safer thinking he didn't."

He cringes because god _no_, that would give him nightmares for weeks, and Hijikata already has the weirdest nightmares on the planet. It's become a running joke among their group of friends because apparently everyone heard about the one with Kondo and the snot and the inside out sleeping bag. He shudders just thinking about it, but still is able to dig around his jacket and toss back the bag of peanuts to Gintoki, knowing the other will catch them (why hadn't he joined the baseball team again?)

"Knew those would come in handy for the hungry, hungry hippo." That has Gintoki stepping on his heel so hard his shoe comes off and Hijikata has to sit down in the terminal to fix it when they get there, but he still smirks to himself seeing Gintoki munch down the baggie into nothing but crumbs. Standing, he pulls out their tickets again and hikes his bag higher on one shoulder before slapping Gintoki's own arm. "C'mon, we'll check out the gate first before maybe getting something else to eat. Not to mention I gotta take a piss."

He heads off to the left, head whipping back and forth even as the munchmunchmunch follows him through the hallway full of New Dehlians.

Gintoki tosses out the peanut bag when it's done and since it's all proteins, it's able to make a little dent in his hunger. Enough so that he can take a few extra strides to get up next to Hijikata and let his eyes roam around, taking the whole thing in. There's so many people moving about, some standing, some moving slow, others running to catch their flight. And then they come to a stop in front of the connections display and find their flight to check the gate.

"We need to get to terminal D," Hijikata says and Gintoki scoffs.

"You want the D."

He gets a massive eye roll and hit for that, but he redeems himself with a nice flick to Hijikata's forehead. There's signs overhead telling them where to go and they've got some time before their flight starts boarding, so they're in no real rush as they walk. He bumps into Hijikata when a large man shoots around a corner and goes zooming passed, but it doesn't knock either of them over. All it does is get him snapped at by Hijikata and he bumps into the other on purpose just to be a nuisance.

Looking around though, he frowns at all the stands he's seeing. "Imma be broke before we even make it to Italy."

"That's what a budget is for."

Not to mention that Hijikata has been saving for this particular trip for years so he's got everything settled down to a T - hopefully... Shaking away the presuppositions, he looks over and notes Gintoki's unhappy face. The guy's probably still hungry, so he sighs, looking around to find some sort of sweets shop or at least a sit in where Gintoki can eat his fill. He invited Gintoki on this trip so it would be idiotic to do so and then have Gintoki annoy him the entire time with his hunger. Checking his watch and then tilting his head left down the hallway, he instead doubles back, grabbing Gintoki's arm because he's pretty sure he saw an ice cream kiosk somewhere closer to their terminal.

He makes a startled noise as he's pulled back and has to shift his weight so his pack doesn't throw him off. Hijikata lets go when he catches up – why does it always feel like he's falling behind? – and he follows close so they don't get separated in the huge mass that just appeared. They must have all gotten off the same plane and they're not shy about knocking into anyway on their way. Though he and Hijikata had no mishaps, he still sticks close even after the large body of bodies are gone.

It isn't until Hijikata stops and motions to one of the shops that Gintoki makes a happy noise and takes the lead. He easily maneuvers through the crowd between him and his goal and there's nothing that can get in his way now that his eyes are set on the ice cream place. He wonders if they have parfaits with fresh strawberries, that's what sounds really good to him right now. He needs something extra sweet to counteract the salty peanuts he'd devoured. Though when he gets to the front of the shop, he stops and glances around really quick until he's able to spot what else they need.

"Here, gimme your pack and I'll find us a table while you have your piss," Gintoki quips.

Hijikata readily hands over his backpack, reaching both hands upwards to stretch, the bottom of his tee riding up as he flumps both arms back down on a sigh.

"Don't get anything too big," he advises, waving a hand nonchalantly at the kiosk where the line's starting to pile and before look back at Gintoki and, "Cute," he deadpans with a voice full of sarcasm because Gintoki's got his own pack on his back and Hijikata's strapped in across his front.

The other shoots him a look. "What?! It's practical!"

To which Hijikata goes off in search of a restroom. It takes a little bit but he's found one, does the do, and has to maneuver his way back out to the little food court where the ice cream place is because he'd had some old guy try to block his path. Hijikata's a slippery bastard though, and finds Gintoki's white mop of hair easily in the crowd. He smirks as he gets closer, the other munching happily on an ice cream sundae - like they'd have parfait's in India - and slides into the booth.

"Pretty sure I just got solicited for sex."

And the sound of Gintoki choking on his spoon is far too satisfying, right up until said spoon has connected with his face. Though Gintoki eeps and grabs his spoon back right away after it clatters noisily to the table, he still needs that! He glares at Hijikata, even as he shoves a large bite of the sundae into his mouth, different colored swirls melting into a conglomerate of color already in the heat of Southeast Asia.

"An' what d'ya mean 'pretty sure'? How can you only be pretty sure about something like that?" Then he eeps again and reaches forward to swipe up a small smear of ice cream off Hijikata's cheek with his thumb mumbling, "Can't let any of this go to waste, I paid good money for it."

He's quick to lick it up and toss Hijikata a napkin before diving back into his ice cream, which turns out to be exactly what he needs to silence the hunger beast inside him.

"Like I speak Punjabi," he retorts, scrubbing at the place where Gintoki's finger had spread ice cream more than wiped it up, stickiness cling to his cheek. He paps Gintoki on the arm though when he's about halfway through the ice cream heart attack waiting to happen. "Come on we gotta get to our gate soon."

Gintoki mumbles something through a mouthful of chocolate sauce and stands to follow Hijikata out even as he stuffs his face the rest of the way. It's crowded so Gintoki stays close behind him, bumping into Hijikata every once in a while and he knows he'll throttle the guy if he gets any of that sweet crap on his backpack.

Gintoki follows Hijikata to some seats and tosses out his trash just before he sits. He's appeased at the moment, his belly is anyway, and he sighs as he sits back, patting his stomach as if to say, 'Shh, shh, you've been nourished.' He glances at the departure time and they'll be boarding in a half hour, so he grabs his bag and pulls out a few paper clippings he'd stuff into one of the side pockets. He also grabs a pen and looks at the crossword puzzle in front of him, trying to pick a good question.

"Oi, here's your clue – kind of strength, as a bridge has."

Hijikata thinks a moment, leaning back in his chair and answers, "Tensile."

"Fuck you," Gintoki murmurs, filling in the squares, then hands the paper and pen over.

There's a pause as Hijikata picks out his own and says, "I'll give you a chance to keep up with me this time, clue is frat party garment."

"Toga," Gintoki announces theatrically, but then scowls over at Hijikata and snatches the crossword puzzle back. "Keep up with you? I kicked your ass last time!"

"That's a goddamn lie and you know it!" He barks back, grabbing for the crossword again and turning his back to Gintoki when the other tries to get it back. "Okay, projection to reinforce a wall or building."

Gintoki leans into him a moment, counting across the page the box spaces he has before snorting and hissing with delight, "Butt-ress." As Hijikata fills it in, Gintoki whoops out a pile of laughter, having to lean back against his backpack, spouting, "Really, that's the one you give me? Gotta know I'd get that, no contest."

Hijikata hands back the paper, crossing his arms while Gintoki scans the length of definitions, the muffled loudspeaker flipping from Hindi to English and Hijikata squints as he tries to concentrate on the voice. "I think that's ours."

"Ah?"

"Yeah, come on."

"Ahhh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Wirey food preparer thingy!"

"Whisk," he quips back, and Gintoki tilts his head before pouting.

"Didn't think you'd get that actually..."

Hijikata turns to look over at his friend, sparing him a smile before nudging them to their terminal's alcove. "Remember we made you that cake for your birthday a few years back? China was intent on us gathering absolutely everything you'd need to make a 'proper cake'."

Gintoki growls at him and whacks the back of his head with the pen. "A proper cake does not include mayo, you obsessed freak!"

But Hijikata's already got their tickets out and hands them to the boarding attendant, then shoves Gintoki through the gate.

"Woah, careful how you push the goods, bastard," Gintoki gripes as he spins to walk backward so he can swipe his ticket from Hijikata's hand.

He's got the window seat again, so he gets on first, leading the way. But as they get walk down the aisle, so many people on either side, he changes his mind. He gets them down to their seats, then takes an extra step to let Hijikata squeeze in first. It's a smaller plane, so their row is of two instead of three, but he knows how Hijikata is when there's a lot of people around. His friend isn't claustrophobic or particularly anxious, he just knows Hijikata will be more comfortable between himself and the window. Gintoki's fine with that, too, he doesn't give a fuck where he sits, but he does find that he's more at ease, in a sense, when he knows Hijikata is too.

"You gonna sleep on the way there?" he asks, holding out a hand to take Hijikata's pack to throw it in the overhead bin with his own.

He settles easier into his seat when Gintoki crowds against him. It isn't that he's paranoid or any dumb shit like that, he's just cautious. Maybe that's because of his upbringing, maybe his built in intuition for police work? Who knows. Right now it isn't an issue and Hijikata links his fingers before stretching his arms up over his head, feeling relief course through his bones at the random pops and snaps that come with tension releasing.

"Yeah, think so." He looks around before reaching over and stopping a passing stewardess. "Excuse me, what time is it currently?" She relays him the answer and Hijikata goes through his mental clock to see how much sleep he needs to correctly be prepared for the jet lag before turning back to Gintoki whose got this look on his face like he's judging him. "What? I'm just being prepared." Rolling his shoulders back, he buckles his seat belt and automatically looks down to make sure Gintoki has done the same. "But to answer your question, yes, I will be sleeping there."

Gintoki's eyes are still flat even as he rolls them at all this planning stuff. He's not in the least bit worried about shit like jet lag! He can sleep anywhere, at any time, and he does that, so jet lag isn't a thing he's at all preoccupied with since his sleeping pattern tends to be all over the boards.

"If you have trouble sleeping in the seat you can use my desk thing," he offers and freezes when Hijikata gives him an odd look. "What? Don't you look at me like that, I saw people doing it on the last flight! Looked more comfortable than sitting upright!" Hijikata just keeps staring and Gintoki makes a frustrated noise and goes about demonstrating. "Look, you move the armrest up, put the tray down, get a pillow if you don't wanna use your arms and tadaa," he sing songs the 'tadaa,' "that's all there is to it."

"Sir, I need you to put your tray table up, please."

He waves at the passing stewardess and does so, putting down the armrest as well. People who'd slept diagonally had more room and to him, it had looked a lot more comfortable than being upright. It's up to Hijikata though, he'll probably be awake for awhile before he sleeps again. He wants to at least have a meal! And he's thirsty now too!

"Wait til we take off and I may just take you up on the tray thing," Hijikata replies, tilting his head back at that odd angle planes have to rest at, arms crossing naturally as Gintoki says a chipper hello to the passenger across the aisle.

Hijikata snorts internally because Gintoki may be cautious and antisocial depending on the situation, but he's always been there with a greeting. Funny thing since that's how they kinda, sorta, maybe started out friends. It's behind closed eyelids that Hijikata remembers with little less than fondness a required geology class he'd had to take.

'Yo,' had been Gintoki's favored greeting and Hijikata had had to bite his cheek every time not to instantly snap at the guy. They hadn't been friends for the longest time, but Hijikata had slowly grown used to the safety in the familiarity Gintoki provided, always being there with a quick comeback and a snappiness to match Hijikata's own. And regardless of how shitty Gintoki was treated, he unfailingly plopped down beside Hijikata in class each day with a fond greeting. And that, as they say, was that.

Hijikata slides tired eyes open to meet Gintoki's, saying, "Wake me up when they bring food around," tensing despite himself when the plane rumbles and his attention is drawn to the window again.

"Yeah, sure," Gintoki replies amicably. "Unlike you, I'll actually make sure you wake up, not leave you to starve."

Hijikata shoots him a bemused look and he pouts, batting his lashes. Wholly unimpressed, Hijikata looks back at the window and Gintoki is less entertained by taking off this time, so just sits back and enjoys the feeling of his stomach swooping as the plane takes to the air.

"Damn, I shoulda peed in the terminal," Gintoki realizes, the extra pull of gravity making him actually notice that oh hey, his bladder is full. With absolutely no warning, Hijikata reaches over and yanks on his seat belt, tightening and cinching it across his stomach. Gintoki wheezes, "T-t-t-tut, you fucking bastard!"

Hijikata's face is completely straight as he asks, "You pee?"

"Of course not, asshole!" Gintoki snaps, wriggling to loosen the belt enough for him to at least breathe.

"Then you'll live!" He pulls again for good measure before continuing, "And don't go peeing now or I. Will. End. You."

With threat delivered, he settles back into his seat, crossing one leg before thinking better and switching one over the other and tilts his head back again. He wants to fall asleep, but forcing it is always hard, so Hijikata reaches up against the centripetal force to close his fan and switches off his light. It's not much but it might help.

Gintoki's fiddling with his belt and he realizes it got stuck that way so, looking around for flight attendants, Hijikata reaches over to bat Gintoki's hands away with a, "You're gonna get it stuck."

He unbuckles Gintoki's seat belt and that has the other whispering, "Are you _trying_ to get me killed?!"

Hijikata figures out how to loosen the strap before buckling Gintoki in and patting his tummy for good measure just like a little kid. "There. Now you're all good and set for flying the friendly skies."

"Does that mean I get to join the mile high club?" Gintoki asks and he gets a face full of palm for that comment.

Gintoki grabs Hijikata's wrist and gives it a slight shake to get it away from his face. He's grumbling things at it and feels his jaw with his other hand, that'd kinda hurt. Not much though and he's already over it, so he lets go of Hijikata and rubs his belly where the belt had tried to slice him open.

"You really do need to sleep, you're getting cranky," he says, eyes on the seat belt light overhead.

He can feel the glare he gets for that, but he ignores it and keeps watching the light... waiting... there's a ding and it goes out. With a victory 'woo' he's up and out of his seat, headed for the pee place. He's the only one standing, so it's easy to get down the aisle to the unoccupied restroom. He has his piss – doing two shakes because three is just playing with oneself – and washes his hands before returning to his seat, a smile making his lips wobble.

Hijikata's eyes are drooped and he's doing the must-stay-awake thing where his head starts to bob and fall before he catches himself. Sitting down, Gintoki buckles himself back in, watching Hijikata fight a battle he's steadily losing.

"I'm just gonna..." he puts his tray table down, "just in case."

"Pffft," Hijikata spurts out, rolling his head closer to nuzzle obnoxiously against Gintoki's shoulder for a second before the other guy shoves him off and Hijikata leans back against his head rest with a laugh. "No, really, you better wake me up right because I'll have your balls if you skip me."

Gintoki laughs but wriggles his eyebrows at Hijikata as if he's really going to fuck him over with their flight, but he simply snuggles further down in his seat, head rolling one way then the other to make sure he's got all the kinks out. And Gintoki just waits for it, the surefire moment where Hijikata's going to succumb. He remains quiet and just watches, having a terrible time fighting off his smirk when Hijikata starts going down. It happens in increments, but boy, does it happen and Gintoki's ready for it.

He moves the armrest up and though he doesn't have to, he scoots back in his chair. His tray table stays put and Hijikata keeps getting closer and closer until he's about a foot away, then he collapses. Gintoki chuckles at the thudding noise it makes, but then he's all about situating himself. He has no armrest anymore, so he instead rests it against Hijikata's back and not only is that comfortable, it's warm, too. He considers calling a stewardess to see if there's a pillow somewhere, but Hijikata's already out, a pillow isn't going to make any difference.

That's how they stay and he's fine with that, even comfortable despite that he can't move much.

Just over an hour goes by and that's when the people finally start offering food and drinks. About damn time! And though he wouldn't mind something alcoholic, he opts to stick with the free stuff to save his money for cheaper booze somewhere else.

"What can I get you, sir?"

Gintoki looks down at Hijikata, debating whether to wake him or let him sleep. It's actually a short debate as he decides to let Hijikata slumber, but still get him food.

"Do you have a dish that can sit here so he can eat it when he wakes up?"

She nods and rattles off what all they have, which is more than he'd thought they would. In the end, he gets Hijikata a sandwich dish that's easy to set aside while it's still in its plastic wrap and for himself he gets a thing with beef. That's all he knows, he hears the word beef and goes for it. She hands him his tinfoil tray and he... flounders. Setting Hijikata's aside had been easy, but now he has nowhere to eat his own.

Huffing, he gets creative. Taking off the plastic wrap, he begins setting out his different items on different parts of Hijikata's body. He has the beef plate resting on Hijikata's head, cheese lining his shoulder, crackers on his side, and the tiny bowl of garlic mashed potatoes in the crook of his neck. He just hopes his human tray doesn't suddenly wake up and spill all his hard work everywhere. Snorting at that, he digs in, not caring in what order he eats things, he's just hungry and wants to eat it all! He makes eye contact with the person across the aisle and they laugh, he flashes a grin in return while catching a rogue piece of delicious cheese before it slides off to its doom.

It really doesn't take him long to inhale every crumb of what he'd been given and though the quality of the food had been so-so, he's not picky and thus, satisfied. His own eyelids droop due to his moderately filled belly and he leans back in his chair, his trashes crumpled up to the side. His arms rests on Hijikata's back again and he lets his eyes close to steal some more sleep so he's well rested for whatever may come when they finally land.

-o-O-o-

Consciousness peeks through at random, but it's the dreams and memories that flounder, first with his cousin poking at his eyes when they were kids, then when they're older, then when Mitsuba broke up with him, flashing to when Gintoki punched him the first time Hijikata threw out his Vanilla Bean Frappucino and straight onto Gintoki's Henley, making a splotch the size of Venus which erupted into volcanoes between he and the other boy. And even after Hijikata had graduated to floating Kagura-chan's loan so that she could actually participate in the science fair alongside Four-Eyes while both he and Gintoki were out of high school doing who knows what.

Did he really fund that? - Hijikata can't quite remember. What a weird dream.

Well, whether he did or didn't, he's both surprised and glad that Gintoki is there with him regardless of how asleep Hijikata is in the waking world, somewhere between fuzzy sleep and waking, and Gintoki supports him and Hijikata in turn. He's leaning sideways til he can catch Gintoki's eyes, smiling when his face instantly dissolves and it's Mitsuba sitting there, looking stunning and calm and all sorts of angelic.

Hijikata feels so safe and it's so warm and he's so damn happy and even though he's pretty sure he's dreaming, he mumbles more to himself, "You're wonderful."

It's in inherent sleepiness and knowing that consciousness is fleeting before leaning into kiss his crush because she's _glowing_ at him- right up until his eyes flutter open, spotting white-gray hair and ugly seats and tiny windows across the aisle and this is _Gintoki_. It only takes a second of bona fide reality to tell Hijikata that he'd apparently just smooched his best friend but reality was more plagued with jet lag and an extreme case of lethargy and after Hijikata had smacked the kiss, or what he thought was a kiss but more like slobber, he'd completely crashed on his friend's shoulder in a retarded heap, mouth equipped with drool aplenty and crooked smile to adorn his human body pillows.

-o-O-o-

Gintoki grunts and his eyes snap open, having just slipped into a light doze. He's massively confused at first, but things click pretty fast, though don't sink in right away. His lap is now void of Hijikata, but his side is full of him. He can even feel the drool permeating through his shirt and his arm is sufficiently trapped around Hijikata's waist. When had this happened? He'd only closed his eyes for a few minutes!

He doesn't move and instead stays still, blinking the sleep from his eyes as Hijikata... nuzzles him...? Is Hijikata nuzzling him? Oh, this is too fucking funny! Hijikata's body is pressed along his side at a somewhat odd angle and he's actually nuzzling toward Gintoki's neck. Gintoki has to work hard not to laugh outright because obviously Hijikata has no idea what he's doing and that's so goddamn hilarious! He doesn't know what he should do, but waking Hijikata up seems like a good idea. Let him see the mortification splash across Hijikata's face!

And he's not embarrassed by this at all, it really just doesn't faze him. He's known Hijikata so long, they've seen each other in some of the worst conditions – particularly after a night of hard drinking and they're hung-over puking their guts out. He can't say he's ever been cuddled – he chuckles – by his friend, but there has been times in the past that could probably pass for it. Gintoki doesn't think too much on stuff like this, Hijikata's probably so close for the heat since he's always been easily chilled and the plane isn't what anyone would call warm. Besides, he's used to this in a way, considering all the years Kagura has crawled into his bed looking for something secure to lean against after she's had a bad dream. He likes being relied on too, so no, this doesn't bother him in the least, it's just something he can use to tease his friend with.

Giving Hijikata a shake, his trapped arm's hand patting the other's hip, he entreats in a low voice doused in honey, "Wakey, wakey, sweetheart, time to wake up."

Hijikata groans softly, grumbling despite himself into this rather hard pillow and instantly smooshes a hand upwards towards the sound of condescension.

"Ughhh, you sound like the old lady on Lady's Four..." Hand effectively running up along... skin? Hijikata jerks back abruptly, startling revelation telling him he's, ugh, cuddling with Gintoki and of course flinging himself back like that with sleep making him forget that he's on a plane lands his head cracking against the window. Pain ricochets through his skull and there's a ringing in Hijikata's ears and he groans in pain and clutches his head, whapping at Gintoki's outstretched hand.

"I'm fine, I'm fine! Get off," he barks, blushing despite himself because that is so goddamn sappy. "Arghhhh, why did I even invite you on this trip?! Damn it, my head hurts!"

Gintoki laughs and slaps a hand over his mouth to try and stifle it. He does feel a bit bad about the head smashing part, but that's what Hijikata gets for being a moron! And that blush! The blush has always been one of his favorite things, even back when all they ever did was fight, because it just makes Hijikata look so damn stupid!

Reaching down, he grabs the container with Hijikata's meal and proffers it up like a peace offering. "Food is a cure all, this'll make you feel better."

"You're an asshole by the way," Hijikata gripes, even as he takes the proffered sandwich. There's a moment where he just glares at Gintoki through tired eyes and then glares at the sandwich in his hand, thinking the terrible thought that he might have spit in it, but instead he trusts in Gintoki and scarfs the thing down. It's not the best, not even really good though airplane food is never good, but he eats it anyway because the sleep is receding and he can feel the hunger pains coming on quick. "What time izzit anyway?" he asks instead, ignoring the still present flare of heat in his cheeks as they run right past the awkwardness of PDA between friends. What had he even been dreaming anyway? He can't even recall.

Gintoki looks down at his patent state of the art cereal box Batman watch - a graduation gift from Kagura - and recites, "Nearing seven, but we're in a different time zone now and this thing doesn't automatically change."

Someday he'd like a nice watch, one that has all the gadgets and gizmos. He used to have a nice one a few years ago, but sadly he'd had it for so long that it'd finally bit the dust and since then, he's never come across one he liked enough to save up and buy. In a way he prefers ones like this Batman one, just for the sentimental value of it being a gift and it really means something because Kagura had had to eat four boxes of cereal before she'd found the watch instead of one of the other small toys in the set.

Looking down at his shoulder, he frowns at the darker spot on his dark short sleeved shirt and looks over at Hijikata with the best dead fish look he can possibly muster. "You drooled all over me, bastard."

Hijikata nods to Gintoki's warbling, shoving sandwich into his mouth and shoves his napkin at Gintoki, considering that repayment enough for a drool infested shirt.

Tilting his head to look out the window, he swallows and begins, "You know being in two time zones, flying the way we are, we could be constantly going back and forth in time." Looking over at Gintoki's bemused expression, Hijikata shakes the bread in indication and continues with utter seriousness, "This is disgusting."

Gintoki leans over, able to get close because the arm rest between them is still up, and takes a big munch of the bread.

As he chews, he says, "If we're constantly going back and forth in time," he swallows, "it also means we're younger and older accordingly." His gaze zeroes in on the bread. "That's nasty."

He clicks the button overhead to call the stewardess and uses the napkin he'd been given to wipe at his shirt. It's a half-assed wiping, he really doesn't give too much of a shit, but it gives him something to do while Hijikata dismally picks the bread apart without eating it.

"How can I help you, sir?"

Gintoki looks up at the young lady and points his thumb to the small Mount Olympus of mutilated breading. "You have any other sides? The bread isn't going over too well."

She smiles and starts rattling off the different sides to Hijikata and while the other is thinking it over, Gintoki asks for some drinks. With a Hijikata in the way he didn't have a place to put his drink before, but now his tray table is free at last and he's parched.

He gets chips. Chips are safe. Well processed chips are safe because apparently European made sandwiches are not.

"We're going to have to make sure we don't each too much beef." Gintoki gives him a look and Hijikata bounces in his seat when the stewardess comes back, grabbing for the chips and stuffing a mouthful in, humming when Gintoki sets his can of Coke down. "Ya'know, mad cow."

Hijikata munches more through the bag, thinking he might have to get another one, either that or they stock up on lots of processed crap when they land because Hijikata's a snacker.

Conservation. He needs to conserve. Hijikata folds the top of the bag down, chewing thickly before swallowing and going for his soda. The fizzy bubbles do a pop, pop, pop as they go down and he's nearly feeling refreshed again.

"Wouldn't that mean we've found the proverbial fountain of youth?" Hijikata spouts off what they were talking about before and Gintoki makes an interested noise besides him, relaying, "Yeah but living on a plane forever would be so boring."

They hit just a tiny bit of turbulence then, the plane giving a few little jolts. It doesn't bother Gintoki any, he just sips at his drink and makes an exaggerated noise afterward because damn, that's good stuff. It'd be nice to have some kind of alcoholic beverage too, but alas, those are way too expensive on a flight.

"And if you had to live on a flying thing forever, why not make it a space ship? Being in orbit prolongs your lifespan and you'd get the benefit of being weightless." He fiddles with his pop tab as they hit some more minor turbulence and stretches his legs out as far as he can beneath the seat in front of him for more room. "It'd be cool to just kinda drift around in midair, I'd like that."

Hijikata doesn't jump but just tenses slightly as the ride grows a little bumpy. He brought a meditation stone- only one though he's got plenty; it was something his brother used to collect and Hijikata found himself continuing the habit- but it's packed away and it's not like he needs it. It's almost weird that he doesn't feel like he needs to calm his nerves because Gintoki's here. Probably because Hijikata more uses it for his spastic anger and Gintoki certainly takes that well.

"Spaceships are expensive. You know they spend billions of taxpayers' dollars but that didn't stop the Challenger from blowing up." He says and scratches at his nose before reaching forward for his Cola again. Hijikata doesn't like not being in control of something like a plane, but he's grown to put enough trust into the machines made by man. Instead, he smirks and nudges Gintoki with an elbow. "You remember those... moon boots from the 90's? Your birthday is coming up."

Gintoki barks a laugh. "Man, I'd rock those! Though given a choice I'd rather have a moon bounce, those things are awesome."

The plane rattles and gives a few nice little bumps, enough so that the seat belt light comes back on. A stewardess gets on the intercom to request everyone please return to their seats and remain there until the light is turned off again.

Gintoki looks out the window to a dark night sky and large clouds and purses his lips. "I wonder if Thor is having a bad evening. Like they're out of his favorite cookie so he's all moody now."

Hijikata's about to bring his tray table up again, one hand holding the drink aloft but he stops mid-swing to raise an incredulous eyebrow at his friend.

"Thor is a Viking God. He would eat something far more ... more virile than cookies." He downs the rest of his drink and shoves it into the pocket of the seat in front. "Like boar or something."

"Fine, boar-flavored cookies." Gintoki replies and Hijikata purses his lips out, nostrils flaring in disgust.

"Ew." He swings his head around, seeing what's going on around the cabin but most people are still passed out. "I wonder how much longer we have."

He doesn't have a hard time sitting still, but his legs need to move. Proper exercise is something of the norm for Hijikata, especially with his chosen field of work and the amount of sports he'd gotten involved in during high school and college.

"Not a clue," Gintoki replies. "Ask the lady when she walks by again for trash." Hijikata fidgets some more and so he raises his arm to press his elbow into the other's side and nudge a few times. "Cut that out. Just stretch your legs in front of you or something."

He ignores getting his arm slapped away and he's about to retort when something red catches his eye. Reaching forward, he pulls the Sky Mall magazine out of the seat back and splays it open on his tray with one hand. And the first thing he sees makes him snort and point to the far too happy man in the picture.

"Why go outside when you can have your very own virtual world inside a very unbecoming headset?"

"That's fucking lame," Hijikata remarks irritably, pulling his legs up now that he can't even leave his seat and proceeds to simply... stretch them up.

It's really cramped and Hijikata isn't the most flexible, but these things come with the territory of having a good diet and health routine, so up one leg goes, muscles aching as he repeats the step with his other leg. Putting those down again, he leans forward slightly, trying to crack his back but really having no luck.

"You're gonna have to work your magic voodoo fingers when we land," he explains, and almost groans thinking about it. Gintoki's been from home to home since he was an orphan and has picked up some tricks from his rather eccentric fosters along the way. "I got a kink the size of the land rover."

Gintoki glances up from his magazine, having been studying the authenticity of the Lord of the Rings merchandise page because some of the things had looked like decent replicas while other had looked shoddy. Hijikata is stretching forward and leaning back, letting out little grunts of what can only be frustration as he reaches for a certain point on his back and Gintoki empathizes since he knows how uncomfortable it can be. Coming to an easy decision, he chugs the rest of his drink and puts the can aside as he closes his tray table with the magazine trapped inside.

"No reason you gotta wait till we land, just loosen your seat belt as much as you can and you should be able to turn toward the window okay." He loosens his own seat belt so he can turn as well and he's even able to scoot a bit closer with the arm rest still out of the way. When Hijikata's back is to him, he reaches out and runs his fingers under the right shoulder blade where Hijikata had been pawing at and chokes on a laugh. "Damn, you are a kinky thing, aren't you?" He grins at the baleful look Hijikata shoots over his shoulder at him and points to his head. "Natural perm, I win the kink award. Now," he gives Hijikata's back a pat where his hand is still touching, "face forward and hold still."

With a lingering bemused look, Hijikata does so and Gintoki gets down to business. He can literally feel the knob of tension under his fingers, but he only smirks because the thing is child's play. Pressing the heel of his palm to it, he grabs Hijikata's shoulder with his other hand and pulls with that hand while pushing with the other. With a quick push and pull, there's a mighty crack and Hijikata's shoulders sag as he lets out a heavy relieved sigh.

Kneading his fingers into the spot to loosen the rest of the muscles since the notch is nearly all the way gone, he mindlessly starts mumbling, "Can crack your back properly when we land, but this should do for now. Though I can always do it again if it comes back before then."

"UGHHHHH," Hijikata groans inexplicably because his fingers are clenching and eyes rolling back and this must be heaven. Feeling Gintoki pull away too soon, he turns to face the other and drawls, "Fuckin' awesome."

Because Gintoki is. He can break the ever present kinks out of Hijikata's back and does it on the regular, which is even really weird as fuck for he himself because he doesn't usually do that with friends. Somehow the way they go about it feels much more innocent, but that's okay, especially when Hijikata gets personal back rubs from Gintoki, and it's even cool when he leans forward to whisper things into his ear. It's usually something about the massage he's currently learning but Hijikata's beginning to read the other man better.

Gintoki holds up a peace sign in acknowledgment to Hijikata, glad he can put his, ah, unique skills to good use. He really does have the most random of skill sets, some of which aren't even applicable in most cases, but he likes having them regardless. And thanks to Hijikata, he puts this particular skill to work often enough. He doesn't know how Hijikata always gets so wound up, but the guy is just a magnet for knots and kinks, not that Gintoki minds helping out when he can. Another thing is that he enjoys doing it, mainly because it's just him and Hijikata talking about out of nowhere shit.

"Could probably do more if you wanna lay on my tray again," he says offhandedly.

Righting himself, he tightens his seat belt again and puts his tray table back down so he can keep going through the magazine. So many of the things in it are stupid and overpriced, but he does like looking. Getting to a page full of watches, he looks at them all and his nose curls because no, none of them are what he'd ever wear.

It's then that a stewardess walks by and he stops her with a raised hand, asking, "How much longer till we land?"

"Right around four hours. There will be another meal cart coming by in a half hour if you're hungry."

"Good to know, thank you." Turning his attention to Hijikata, he says, "Hear that? You managed to sleep awhile, I think there might just be some credibility to the whole sleeping on a tray table thing. And you're not a bad table yourself, you know."

"I'm sure I was an excellent table. Was probably exactly the reason my back felt like I got stabbed."

He reaches back at an awkward angle in that way people do to simply mess with the offending part of his body, shooting Gintoki a withering glare. He'd thought he'd slept longer and what parts restlessness he is gets to him quick. His leg bounces and only stops when Gintoki comments on it, but Hijikata doesn't want to just sit now that he's functioning at full mental capacity. He wants to get up and move and so concentrates his red hot glare at the little 'fasten seat belt sign', the tick in his brow coming along with how annoying the stupid light looks. He barely stops himself from moving his leg again.

"Yes." He hisses when the thing pings off after the plane has smoothed out for a while and he's already ripping the thing off and standing as best he can in the seat, having to bend over Gintoki slightly because otherwise his head would hit the ceiling. "Move," he shoos Gintoki with a hand, intent on getting a moderate amount of exercise wandering the small aisles.

Gintoki makes a frustrated noise and leans back in his seat to make room for Hijikata, interrupting him while he'd been reading something pretty interesting. Hijikata starts inching by, having to move the tray table up some to be able to move enough and the plane gives a little lurch. It's not enough to be considered turbulence, but it's enough for Hijikata's balance to sway. He catches himself on the top of Gintoki's chair and Gintoki has a bracing hand on Hijikata's hips, his eyes flattened to that of his most basic expression - the dead fish.

"Graceful as a sponge, you are."

Hijikata's face screws up in confusion. "A... what?"

Gintoki shrugs and gives Hijikata's ass a couple shooing taps. "I don't know, it was the first thing that came to me. Now get lost."

He'd been about to throw his leg over Hijikata's earlier if it hadn't stopped that noxious bouncing. Hijikata slides by the rest of the way, off to burn some latent energy, and Gintoki corrects his tray and magazine and starts reading again.

Hijikata escapes rather quickly after that, jumping a little when there's a bump in the plane and he looks one way then the other. There... isn't much room to move in and even less places to go. He starts heading towards the back- it's the shorter route and there's a bathroom which, now that he sees it, he needs right fucking now. But, of course, it's occupied, so Hijikata switches back around the other way, double timing it up towards the one in the middle of the cabin, but that too is occupied. He grumbles to himself, little jumbled curses and other more basal sounds as he rocks from foot to foot and wonders how mad the flight attendants would be if he snuck into the first class ones. "Fuck it," was the deciding factor and he scoots towards the front, looking around at all the sleepy faces before simply slipping between the curtain and... it's like he's stepped into a really cheesy porno.

Even the fucking carpet up here is different! He shuffles a foot, distracted even though his bladder is going to kill him from the inside out and slips his trekking shoe off to simply toe at the thick fabric. Ah, that's nice... No wonder people pay for this, he could have slept the whole flight if he were up here. Instead, someone sitting nearby gives him and funny look, trailing over Hijikata's shaggy polo and ripped seesucker shorts, so he half shoves his foot back into his shoe and scoots up to the bathrooms and-

"Ahhhhhh..." he moans aloud, slumping against the cabin wall because this one isn't occupied but somehow out of service? How does that even happen? Was Gintoki up here with his explosive diarrhea? He's about to knock his head back into the wall but a stewardess approaches, looking amicable if not a little cautious.

"Are you all right, sir?"

He looks over at her and replies, "God hates me." Something in his face must have shown the struggle so she gives him a friendly tap on the shoulder and says, "You know there's one around the other side, just double back and slip between those two seats."

Nirvana.

That's where Hijikata is because as soon as she'd spoken, he was following her directions and zipping into the restroom. Relieving himself, Hijikata sighs and finishes his business, washing his hands and looking around at the weird paraphernalia they have in first class. Blowing out a gust of air that flips his V-cut up in disarray, Hijikata absconds back to his seat but not with a thanking half-wave at the flight attendant who stifles a giggle and nods. She's kind of cute but he can't really tell how old she is which is always a pretty big red flag. Instead, he gets back to Gintoki, this time simply lifting his leg up and using that flexibility to grapple over him to his own seat which Gintoki pokes at him obnoxiously.

Feeling a little refreshed, he buckles his seat belt and says, "Who puts a potted plant in an airplane bathroom? that's what I want to know."

"Was it a scented one?" Hijikata shrugs. "Because if it was scented it could be to keep it smelling flowery fresh."

Gintoki is finished with his magazine, having lost interest just after the halfway point and he's been people watching since then. There's all kinds of people on the plane with them and he finds himself drawn to an elderly woman two rows up who's wearing an older outfit that looks like it came straight out of a time machine. She's even wearing something like an old time flapper hat from the twenties and he really sorta likes that.

Nudging Hijikata, who's still being a fidgety fuck, he nods his head toward the woman. "Story time. Her name is Edna Brown and a long time ago, back in her youth, she worked in a cabaret club. She was a singer and a dancer, really popular in the area, a big hit with the fellas, all that. And now she's on a plane, still a total babe, dressed in the getup of her time period. So," he looks over at Hijikata, "what happened to her?"

Hijikata hasn't brought out his stone, so Gintoki has a suspicion it's packed away and the other doesn't want to get into the overhead bin for it. In lieu of the stone, Gintoki offers what he can and this is the first way of distraction that comes to mind.

He looks at Gintoki for a long moment, eyes narrowing as time goes on right before he leans in close as if they're a pair of gossips. "No one talks about it but everyone knows she's still a tiger in the sack. It's kinda fucked up because, you know, leave the lights off and all that, but sometimes when she dresses up or wears that hat it's like she's instantly twenty again and lavish." He points over to the back curtain. "There's a flight attendant back there named Greg and she's been eyeballing him the entire time but you know the only reason he'd do anything is to get her jewels." He pauses, staring out past Gintoki's form as he thinks before continuing, "Which is more valuable to you: diamonds or the deed to a house?"

"Deed to a house," Gintoki replies without a second thought.

It's pathetic and he's probably lame for picking that one so easily, but it's an orphan thing. Orphans have things for houses, or rather, homes. Granted, a house isn't a home without the right people in it to come back to, but having a house is a good start. Just thinking about it, makes him reach into his shirt and pull out his necklace and mindlessly toy with it, an action he's sometimes not even aware of.

"So, say the plane goes down and you end up like Tom Hanks in that one movie, Castaway. If you found only one package on the beach, what would you hope would be in it?"

"Mayonnaise," he says, completely straight faced and Gintoki tosses his hands up next to him, muttering sarcastically, "Oh, of course, what about the second thing?"

He leans back again, trying to strategize over what he'd want to find. Tactical logistics in criminal law had always been Hijikata's forte so he hums thoughtfully as to what he would hope for. It would definitely be something he needed as opposed to wanted. Mayo was a want (to everyone else, to Hijikata it was an express need), so he licks his lips, biting down on his own tongue distractedly.

"Theoretically speaking, islands should have some sort of food, and there's always using wood to make spears and go fishing- kind of like 'Lord of the Flies' but without all the nasty kids." His nose scrunches up at that, turning to Gintoki. "I hated that book. But there's probably leaves to stuff in your shirt if it gets too cold at night. Building materials wouldn't be too difficult, depending on which island you land on... Probably... toilet paper because Chuck said to _'hoard toilet paper, hoard it like it's made of gold'_. You don't want to be wiping with a leave and catch something." Gintoki putters softly at that, but Hijikata holds up a finger. "And a pencil. Because then the toilet paper can double as your memoirs on the island with a bunch of toilet paper gold."

Gintoki slaps a hand over his face. "You are ridiculous. Coulda said a picture of me or family, but no, you want toilet paper and a pencil. Sure, okay."

But it's working, what they're doing. Hijikata is sitting still and doesn't look like he's about to spontaneously combust in his seat. Though, for Gintoki, it's starting to get a little warm, so he reaches up with his free hand and turns his air vent so it's more open to let out some cool air. He thinks that might help Hijikata too, so he angles it between them so it hits them both.

"So what's the first thing we're going to do when we get there?"

Because fuck if he knows. He's been following along with Hijikata, happy for the company, so what they do isn't a huge issue for him, he knows he'll have a blast regardless. That's the way it usually is with Hijikata anyway. Except when they're fighting, actually fighting, which doesn't happen very often, but when it does, it completely fucks him up.

Hijikata's still feeling naggy and so exaggerates his sneer with a, "Of course you'd bring something sentimental and then _starve _to death." He's half sarcastic but... there's a serious tone to his words because Gintoki's a sap. Way more than Hijikata is. He'd be the type to bring Hijikata's picture to the island, die, and then Hijikata will feel the even living guilt for the rest of his life when they find him because all Gintoki'd have on him is a goddamn picture.

But really thinking about it, toilet paper is kind of dumb.

He points instead to the overhead bin as a distraction. "I have a list." Gintoki groans but Hijikata pats him on the should; it's something he does in an effort to console, because Gintoki's always been rather spur of the moment so a list or, God forbid, _planning _is like enemy number one. "Just a few things, specifics like cheap hostels and what types of food chains not to buy from." He removes his hand but their shoulders are still lined up together. "We get into Malpensa, so take in the sites, be general tourists because Milan a modern city. We're not gonna be in the main part of the city though just... around."

Hijikata likes old things, likes the smell of rank old castles so those are on one of his lists, but he can do cliché tourist for a while, particularly since they're getting there in the morning and have a reservation at a local hostel for that night.

Gintoki groans again. "Man, you're killin' me with these lists of yours." Hijikata just gives his shoulder a little nudge and that's all he gets. He's well used to Hijikata's lists and stuff, so it's really no surprise, but _still_. "Every once in awhile you gotta humor me though. That's no maps, no lists, just us, got it?"

Hijikata's mouth opens as if to protest and Gintoki points a finger at him, squinting his eyes. With a scowl, Hijikata sinks back in his chair and Gintoki knows that that's the best he's going to get. Satisfied, Gintoki goes back to people watching, glad that he'll be list free sometimes. His eyes scan a few people he'd taken an interest in during his previous watching and he catches sight of something he just _has _to point out.

"Oh... okay, oi!" He hits at Hijikata's leg in a _pat, pat, pat_ of insistence. "Oi, oi, look – ha! Here, c'mere, see that guy?" He pulls Hijikata closer to him so they can both see the young businessman two rows ahead. "He and the dude a row back in the opposite isle, there, that one." He subtly points a finger at the decent looking man with dark hair and stubble laden jaw. "They've been eye fucking the shit out of each other since you left for the restroom."

He keeps watching, eyes flicking back and forth between the two men. It's hard to see what the businessman looks like other than clean shaven and sharply dressed and Gintoki can imagine him wearing really expensive cologne. The other guy almost looks like a suburban bachelor and they just keep _looking_ at each other. Glancing, looking away, discretely looking back, it's like a game. Then, stubble guy stands and, after a lingering look, heads back toward the bathroom and Gintoki is back to obnoxiously patting Hijikata's leg with the back of his hand.

"Ha! He did it, he's going for it!" He chuckles and stares at businessman dude through the gap he has. "You think he's gonna follow? Name your bet, but I'm sayin' he's gonna follow."

"Mile high club. Gold card members." Hijikata offers in contemplation, shoving Gintoki over so he can see through the crack and assess business suit himself. He squints, remembering something. "Did he see which restroom the other guy went in?" Gintoki raises an eyebrow and shrugs. "Probably not, hmmm... He'll go- see, he's getting up already!" Hijikata peels over to his side of the row, looking out the window at... absolutely nothing like it's completely interesting until the man walks by them and back towards the end of the plane. Only after a moment, Hijikata peeks over his shoulder and smirks, a full shiny row of teeth. "He'll go alright, but five says he's going to get the wrong room. All of the bathrooms have been occupied like crazy."

As if on cue, Gintoki swings his head back just as the man knocks discreetly on one of the two doors (50/50 chance, come on!) and begins whispering something into the cracks and BAM! A hefty middle aged woman comes storming out, and both the passengers are red faced for a moment, a few heads swinging back their way as the lady lays into him, spouting something or other in another language before taking off back down the row in a tizzy. And it's just when business suit enters the restroom all embarrassment and saving face, locking the door behind him that the OTHER man pops out of the room opposite him... but...

"_Wow_." Hijikata deadpans because the other guy is _snickering_, the biggest shit eating grin on his face as he carefully looks out and simply... absconds to the bathroom with the other guy in it. "Wow." He mutters yet again, seemingly at a loss for anything else except, "Did we just witness something beautiful or..."

Gintoki has a hand over his mouth, he can't fucking breathe! He's dying! He's dead! His face is probably turning red and he's able to keep it up until Hijikata gives him a mighty side eye, then he just loses it. He bursts out laughing, drawing a little attention to himself as he laughs until his sides hurt. He tries to keep it down, but he just can't. The woman is _still_ all frazzled and it doesn't look like anyone else has picked up on the fact that there are two men doing the dirty in the bathroom not far off. Hijikata shoves a hand in his face to shut him up, but he just bites at it until his cheek gets a reprimanding slap and he's able to get a grip.

"I wonder if the people back there can hear anything?" He turns in his seat, trying to look inconspicuous and then he mutters, "I guess I have to pee."

Getting up, he marches down the aisle, scratching the back of his neck like he's just a regular dude looking for a piss. His pace is a slow saunter, he's unhurried, sexy, suave, the perfect passenger. And when he reaches the bathroom, he smirks because there's low muffles coming from the one across the aisle. Slipping into the bathroom, he actually does take a piss – thinking about it had sort of made him have to go – washed his hands, and he takes his time coming out again. Not too long, not too short, just the right amount of time for a plane pee.

Walking back out, he hears a noise from the bathroom, like something falling to the ground, and he lets out a loud cough. The passengers nearby look at him, but he just grabs his throat and coughs again like he's clearing it. Sauntering his way back to Hijikata, he sits down and does his seat belt, face twisted into something between a smirk and smile.

"I totally think stubble dude is on his knees right now, he just had that look, ya know? Like he'd been ready to pounce or somethin'. We should stare at them when they return to their seats! Just stare'em down and smile."

"That's really fucked up, even by your standards." Gintoki does some incredulous squawking at that but Hijikata just shoves at his shoulder again, embarrassed despite himself because just KNOWING that Gintoki went back to check it out for perks or shits'n'giggles or, holy crap, _himself _is way over Hijikata's head in terms of acceptability.

But he's always known that's just how Gintoki is. He's prone to getting into trouble, getting into other people's business (Hijikata should know; he can't remember how many times he'd found Gintoki and his runt of a little sister going through his shit at the buttcrack of dawn) and giving no two fucks about it. 'It comes with the territory,' he's been told but what territory that would be, Hijikata doesn't have a damn clue. The idiot territory, maybe?

And then the last thing Gintoki said makes him squint forward at nothing, one finger coming up in indication. "Wait, those bathrooms are tiny. That means someone's crunched up at a weird angle on the toilet." He grows more confused, tilting his head over at Gintoki and continuing, "I don't know about you, but I don't think I could get off in there."

It's too tiny! It'd feel like the damn walls are closing in! Either that or it would totally turn into a sauna with all the excess body heat.

"When there's will, there's a way," Gintoki quips back. Though he does concede, "They _could_ just be making out, but who knows, maybe the thrill of the act makes it easy to overlook that they're in a cramped bathroom." He thinks about that, then snorts in such a way people might think he's possessed by a demon. "You'd be good at it," he says to his friend and laughs at the outright scandalized look he gets. "Don't look at me like that! You're so flexible you could just be origami'd to fit."

Hearing a noise from the back then, he turns in his seat and peeks over the top. Business man is comes out and walks back to his seat looking all kinds of rumpled. His hair is messier, lips red, cheeks slightly flushed, and he doesn't look nearly as clean cut as he had when he'd gone in. Gintoki smirks to himself and watches the guy pass, openly looking, but he goes unnoticed. Moments later, stubble guy emerges looking just as undone.

Elbowing Hijikata without looking over, he whispers, "Lookit! His lips look more swollen than the other dude's, don't they? I think they do."

Stubble notices Gintoki watching and it's the other guy that looks away while Gintoki keeps on staring. He takes in the guy's clothes and mannerisms and when he takes a seat and looks back and their eyes meet, Gintoki puts on the mightiest of smirks, crosses his arms, and raises a brow as he sits comfortably back in his chair. And the blush! Oh, holy hell, the blush that takes over the man's face is priceless! Gintoki has to suppress another laugh as the guy turns back around and doesn't chance another glance back.

Hijikata slaps him, he can't help himself. "Stop staring."

It isn't Gintoki's business and he knows it and even after all these years, Hijikata is still inclined to give him shit for it.

"But did you see his face?" Gintoki asks, still laughing and eventually breaking down into giggles again against his shoulder as Hijikata tilts forward just a little bit to look around Gintoki and take a peek.

He narrows his eyes when he spots stubble watching them and they sort of wither at each other for a bit before stubble breaks eye contact to whip out his headphones, all pissed off now.

Leaning back, Hijikata sighs and mutters, "You know he's just thinking we're a couple now too."

Gintoki looks up with a wibbly smile and - oh no - he can feel something coming.

Soon enough he's got Gintoki leaning over with some serious fish lips, sputtering something like, "Come give _daddy _a kiss," and little octopus arms wrapping around him.

"Trap!" Hijikata exclaims, a little too loud for their cabin and all the people still sleeping peacefully, but he doesn't care cause Gintoki's going on, teasing Hijikata with a, "Oh, you know I'd have you flyin' the real friendly skies, baby!" because he _knows_ Hijikata's prone to latent embarrassment with that stuff. Sure enough, here comes the flash of heat across his cheeks and he stutters out, "I-I ain't getting anywhere near your junk, bastard!"

He's only successful in ceasing Gintoki's childish tirade when he shoves a finger up his friend's nose. Gintoki's expression flattens out and they both stop and stare with Hijikata's finger just chilling up one of Gintoki's nostrils.

"You feel good about yourself now?" Gintoki asks in a monotone voice, now nasally and trite. "You proud of what you've just done?"

Hijikata's face is still red and gets a shade redder the longer they sit there like this. The seconds stretch on and Gintoki doesn't move, dragging out Hijikata's embarrassment just for shits. After about a minute, Hijikata breaks and yanks his hands only to smack Gintoki on the forehead and look away toward the window.

Laughing, Gintoki gives Hijikata's shoulder a nudge and keeps leering at what he can see of his blush. "We've still got a few hours, what d'ya wanna do to pass the time?"

It's always good to give Hijikata something to think about, even small things because the guy just thinks the shit out of... shit. Hijikata is really smart, a lot smarter than himself, but it has always been that way. Over the years, Hijikata has stopped him from doing a lot of dumb shit because he's not the type to really think things through, he just sort of _does_ things when they're presented to him or when the idea hits. There are people who owe Hijikata, too, because if his friend hadn't been there to hold him back, he would have beaten the shit out of a select few – not without good cause.

So, since he's the cause for the blush, he can be the cause for it to go away as well. He'll even bring out the crossword puzzle again if he needs to, though he knows the chances of him getting his ass kicked are high. On record, he's only won maybe a handful of matches between them in their history of the game.

"First, I'm going to get some hand sanitizer. Move over," he commands, slapping lightly at Gintoki's thigh to get him moving enough for Hijikata to stand in the aisle.

Gintoki seems to get tired of waiting and just slides in himself all the way to the window seat while Hijikata rifles through his bag in the overhead compartment. It's a little bit of a reach and his tee rides up but with a little feeling around, he makes a sigh of eureka and comes back with the hand sanitizer. He's pours a little on and tosses the thing back in his pack, closing the compartment with a snap and flopping back down into the seat. Rubbing his hands together makes him calm, the cheesy artificial sent of lime and coconut wafting up between them and he sighs leaning back into the seat.

Turning slightly to Gintoki, he mutters, "I... thought I'd just sit here quietly." His hands are dry now, feeling soft, and Hijikata links his fingers together before settling them on his lap. Gintoki's silent and Hijikata looks over, lips pursing at the wobbly smile across Gintoki's face try valiantly to break out. "I can be quiet if I want to." He reaffirms (a little too loudly) and Gintoki snorts at him. So Hijikata rolls his eyes and grabs randomly for a magazine in the chair in front, pulling out the Skymall Gintoki had earlier. He flips through a few pages, mind half gone and not really paying attention to what's in front of him until he finds something to catch it. "Would you rather have the AbHancer or the Shake Weight?"

Both terrible choices of the human kind, but both far more entertaining than they should be.

Gintoki bursts out laughing, though tries to keep it down once he gets smacked in the face with the magazine. He can't help it!

"Shake Weight, definitely," he says once his guffaws subside enough. Leering at Hijikata, he pats his belly and scoffs, "As if I need an AbHancer with a bod like this, c'mon. Ah - whoa, hold up. The fuck is that look for, asshole?" He lifts his shirt to show off his tummy and no, it's not Hulk Hogan status, but he's got a pretty decent six-pack going despite how unhealthy he eats. "Feast your eyes, go on, take it in, bask in it." He can't help but laugh at himself here as he puts his shirt down. "But no, on the real, I've always wanted to try a Shake Weight. See if there's any difference jacking off, you know?"

Hijikata stares for a moment longer before reaching over and lifting Gintoki's shirt, taking a hunk of skin and a wee bit of flab from his lower belly between his fingers, pinching at random and smirking while Gintoki squirms.

"Oh yeah, cause this is the only spot all that parfait goes to." He pulls back, blatantly ignoring the comment about jacking off- he doesn't need to talk about that in the middle of a crowded plane and, looking back, there's of course a small child sitting in the seat right behind them. Turning back to Gintoki, he looks him up and down and smirks. "Remember you did that crepe eating contest?" Gintoki groans into his hands and Hijikata laughs. "Man, you couldn't get up for _days. _I'm surprised you can barely stomach them now."

"Hey," Gintoki interjects. "It may be rough seas, but eventually the storm clouds blow over!" And it's that statement that has Hijikata bark out a laugh and shake his head. Leave it to Gintoki to make the weirdest metaphors to cope with the worst of times in his life.

"You were pretty proud that you didn't puke any of it up too."

"Of course. You don't just _waste_ crepes like that."

"You waste enough of my mayonnaise," he mutters under his breath, shooting Gintoki a stink eye while the other sputters, "That was just _one_ time!"

"Are you never going to let that go?" Gintoki gripes, rolling his eyes at Hijikata's petulant, 'No!' Hunkering down in his chair, he rubs at his tummy through his shirt where Hijikata had pinched. "You musta been a crab in another life or something. And that contest had been awesome even if I'd felt like shit for a few days there. I mean I won, didn't I? Totally worth it."

He finds a thread hanging off the hem of his shirt and starts toying with it. He gently pulls on it, unraveling a little more of it and he picks at the end, fraying the tiny little edges.

"You really gotta let that mayo thing go though, we were barely even friends then," he says, pulling some more on the string.

"It's called interest. I'm now allowed to hold that grudge against you more now that we _are _friends."

Skewed logic but it gets him able to nag all he wants. No one puts mayo in the corner! It's funny though because even though he's half disgruntled and half teasing, it isn't often that Hijikata actually admits vocally that they're close in any way shape or form. For all intents and purposes, he and Gintoki have simply gravitated towards each other more and more until it gets to the point where it's abnormal to go a day without hanging out.

He snorts then, crossing one arm over the other as he repeats the same with his legs. "And yeah, you won, but you'd won more crepe gift certificates. It's like they were trying to catapult you into la-la land of diabetes."

"Tried and failed," Gintoki retorts, "those things had been delicious. I wonder what kinds of sweets we'll uncover in this new land." Hijikata snorts and he back hands the bastard's shoulder. "I'm serious! I'm really looking forward to it! I doubt anything can beat a parfait, but I want to try as many things as I can just to see. And Germany! Germany is supposed to have the best chocolate in the world! I've tried some imported stuff - actually, it was at that 'round the world cuisine thing we went to Sophomore year, remember that? It was held in the community hall a few weeks after homecoming. Anyway, there was German chocolate there and it was okay. I bet it tastes better where it's made, so I wanna try it fresh."

His fingers dilly dally on his stomach, strumming out a soundless beat and he watches them move, thinking. He's running through some of the stuff they might do throughout their travels and really, he doesn't know much about any of the places they're going. He'd never even heard of Bavaria before Hijikata had said it's a checkpoint. They have a hotel the night they get there, that'll be nice, let them get their shit together and take time to absorb the sights before they head out. He's hunched in his seat now, his knees pulled to his chest even though it's not the most comfortable position as he fiddles with his necklace, enjoying its soft, reassuring clinking noises.

"Hope you're ready to shuck out some cash specifically for that because I sure am not going to be advancing your sweet tooth any further than I must," He says, even though it's paired with a smile that _might_ just belie that claim a bit. A tiny, tiny bit. "Bavarian chocolate is much better, though I doubt you'll like a lot of it since they specialize in darker tastes."

Hijikata prefers those, black as his soul, but there's something bittersweet about it too. Not to mention dark chocolate has good properties for the body and Hijikata couldn't mess up his physique while still being so fervent with his sports career through high school and college.

"We'll be stopping by a chateau at some point, right?" Because knowing Hijikata, if there's a castle anywhere near where they're going, it'll be found out. He's glad, too, it's a common interest of theirs. "I remember doing a report on the chateau de Chambord in Loire. That thing has four hundred and forty-four rooms and a fireplace for every single day of the year. What would someone even do with a place that big?"

But Hjikata nods. "Yeah, there are a few cathedrals along the way I want to check out as well. That and the basilicas but those are kind of sparse in northern Italy so, depending on how much time we have, we might be able to double back down the coast and check out what we can. But THAT one-" He gives Gintoki a pointed look. "We probably won't get to. And no one needs anything that big. It's... excessive." Hijikata prefers the amenities of smaller living: a simple apartment maybe, studio at best, with everything he could need right in one place, no fuss nor mess. It's all much simpler than the frivolous nature of the baroque. "Also wouldn't want to stop because you'd probably get lost." He smirks at that, side-eying Gintoki's reaction to his claim.

"I wouldn't mind getting lost in a place like that," he finds himself saying, head tilting to the side. He's staring intently at the back of the seat in front of him like it holds all the answers even though it's just a dull gray color with spotted blue markings. "Who knows what I'd find there. Though I wouldn't want to get lost by myself, so you'll just have to join me. We'd never be cold with that many fireplaces and we'd have so many rooms to choose from." He snorts and looks over to meet Hijikata's gaze since he's already looking at him. "The cathedrals will be cool though. Bet they have some rad stained glass designs, I've always liked the colors they can pull out of those. Ah, and the statues! I wanna see some gothic style gargoyles that I can lurk among."

"Yeah you would - you'd totally get bored after a while," Hijikata counters, reaching up to scratch at his nose even as he tilts his head back against the rest again. They've still got a few hours of flight time and that's before taxing into the runway and getting their bearings as well as making their way to the hostel. "Depends on what type of stuff you want to see and then we can plan where to go from there." He shrugs slightly, arms folding across his chest before turning his head to Gintoki again. "I'm going back to sleep for a bit." He scans the other's face, not knowing exactly what he's looking for but whatever it is, he doesn't find it, and so settles back in his chair, leaning it back just that sliver further. "So wake me up when we land, 'kay?"

Gintoki nods and pulls his knees a little closer to himself where he can rest his cheek on one so he's facing Hijikata. "You wanna swap seats again? They'll be coming by with more food in," he checks his watch, "about an hour. Might sleep better on the inside, ya know?"

He bats his eyes open again, focusing on Gintoki and how he's growing hazy in his sight since Hijikata can pretty much drop like a dead weight anywhere.

"S'a good idea." He stretches slightly, head tilting down onto Gintoki's shoulder for a momentary clunk before Hijikata rights himself and stands up.

He bats at Gintoki's legs, moving him in a slide across the seat while Hijikata scoots in front of his legs. He almost falls a few times because these seats are definitely not made for two grown men and their bodies – ha! Manly! – but Gintoki keeps pinching at him in teasing and it's okay, especially when he flops down in the window seat again. Reaching over, he tugs Gintoki's sleeve.

"If they bring something free by, just grab whatever for me."

Gintoki waits until Hijikata tugs insistently a few more times on his sleeve before he snorts a laugh and nods, "Got you covered."

Hijikata gives a sleepy nod and randomly pats Gintoki's shoulder before adjusting the seat and settling down. Gintoki isn't sure if he'll sleep or not, he might, though he pretty much slept through the whole of the first flight. With him, when he reaches _that point_, he can stay up if he tries, but more often than not, he just keels over and falls asleep. And he can go from wide awake to 'it's time to sleep' in the matter of seconds. He's always been that way, just weird when it comes to sleep, and that's why he can slumber anywhere at any given time. He likes to think of it as a natural born talent.

Glancing over at Hijikata, he huffs under his breath because the other looks grumpy even in sleep, always has. He's glad Hijikata can sleep on the plane with so many people around and being packed in so tight in seats that aren't made for comfort despite what the advertisements say. He leans back in his own seat and looks over just in time to see stubble guy quickly turn away. Smirking, Gintoki decides to spend some of his time until the food arrives staring lasers into the back of the man's head just to see what'll happen. He might even wink and flirt with the guy if he looks back again, who knows! It at least gives him something to do for the time being since his main source of entertainment has gone drifted so precariously off into the realm of the unconscious.


End file.
